Thursday, January 20, 2011

Fountain of Spoof


A video has surfaced of a lady face-planting into a mall fountain Micheal Scott style while texting. A different video has now been made public of this lady's appearance on ABC News, speaking about her intentions to proceed with legal actions. By the time I post this blog I'm sure this video will already have completed its viral tour. I'm sorry, I don't care. I have way too much to say about it. I can't embed the video I'm talking about, but if you are so inclined, it's HERE.

  1. Shame on ABC for giving her an outlet and possibly setting the stage for idiot martyrdom.
  2. She is embarrassed that the video leaked- YOU CANNOT EVEN TELL WHO IT IS. The video is so low quality, no one would have ever known who they were watching take a Chevy Chase into 8 inches of water.
  3. She was answering a vague text asking for her birth date and her husband's birth date = She was probably responding to a phishing scam. You should be thanking that fountain for protecting your identity.
  4. "I thought 'let me respond to this text quickly'. Quickly was, I was in the fountain." So- she's either saying she was just 4 or 5 strides away from the fountain when she took her phone out, or it took her half the length of the entire mall to type two dates into her phone. Classic lose-lose scenario.
  5. First thing she thought was "I'm hoping nobody saw me, so let me just walk away." However, NOW she's complaining that no one came to her aid...
  6. When the guy you spoke with in security told you "Be glad that nobody knows you" he probably meant "I'm envious of anyone who doesn't know you."
  7. "I admit, it was funny".... so shut up.
  8. "As you can see in the video, no one came to my aid." You mean the only person around who was a janitor 50 yards away with his back to you didn't run to your aid when he saw you running away from the scene of the crime? I guess I'd be pissed too.
  9. "It could have been anybody's mother, it could have been a senior citizen. Would they have gotten the same treatment as me?" You mean if they also didn't drown and immediately walked away? Probably.
  10. "Don't text and walk- especially to our younger generation." Thanks, but we've picked up on the nuances of texting and multi-tasking.
  11. "The fountain could have been empty... I could have walked into a bus, been hit by a car..." What?? What happens to you when the cameras AREN'T around? On second thought, good for you, ABC. We need to get this lady a reality show...

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