Gain

From birth until seven years ago, I was weak and I knew it. I was complacent and soft, silent and unsure. I was 20 years old and I knew I was headed for obscurity. I saw people that I wished I could be like and I expressed my frustration to a college professor. The advice this professor gave to me has resonated: "Strength and success are just one wise decision at a time."

I was once so sensitive and had no resilience; I thought I had no value. I once ignored my problems, believing that I deserved them and I could not affect change. Seven years of one. wise. decision. at. a. time. I have proven myself wrong.

I once had anxiety about speaking and being wrong, but that WAS my weakness. The fear of being wrong or not knowing- the fear of looking foolish and asking questions caused me to run from what I couldn't control. I stayed with very little.

In the past seven years, I met a woman whose strength inspired me. Her relentless pursuit for life and love encouraged me. She was an endless river of brilliance and goodness with whom I could achieve anything, so long as she was with me.

18 months into our marriage and 16 months into her life altering illness, I know that her condition and her treatments are not my fault- but they are my responsibility. Watching this unfold is sad- but it is an honor, and my PLEASURE to become who she needs and treat her as she deserves.

After these past seven years and my experiences with my wife, I can give one word of additional advice to someone who is as frustrated as I once was: Choose dialogue; everything else is running away.

Dialogue is often uncomfortable and sometimes entrenching or even polarizing, but change and healing are impossible without it.