at least...

Part I
some people have thoughts like a plate of spaghetti
a once brittle, unpalatable box of failed pickup sticks
now boiled to a manageable consistency and interwoven
no way of knowing where one starts and stops
unless extracted with careful diligence

still, others have thoughts like a row of vending machines
strategically categorized and compartmentalized
sterile, logical, and obvious
the extraction is much simpler
but it only moves as fast as the coins

in either case our experience is multi-dimensional
while we twirl our pasta on our fork
we're neglecting the deliciousness of the garlic bread
while we're futilely rocking the machine to free our stuck doritos
we have yet to discover that the diet pepsi is -sold out-

complete perspective is impossible to obtain
there's only one omniscient, omnipresent
but that doesn't excuse us from trying
if not all at once, we should be oscillating
flipping through our security cameras
like a security guard in a parking garage

Part II
i wrote the former to write this
if perspective is a song, i am william hung
i've convinced myself i'm awesome
but really, i'm comically awful

i'm curiously determined to maintain my perspective
whether it's good or bad
i use a technique call "at least"
of which there are two varieties

if my self image is good and i'm ignoring opportunities for improvement
i use "at least i..."
you think a "C" average is bad?
at least i am not failing.
you think i have too many speeding tickets?
at least i am not in prison.
you think i call off of work too much?
at least i have a job.

if my self image is bad and i'm ignoring things that would make me feel better
i use "at least they..."
i should be grateful for my job?
at least they make (insert salary $10K more than my own).
i should be happy with my relationships?
at least they have (insert 100 more facebook/myspace friends than i have).
i should be proud of my life??
at least they (insert inconsequential asset someone has that i don't).

the expression goes that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
but i'm thinking it just looks nicer because they're taking the time to mow it.

i have a pretty big lawn.
i should probably be priming my john deer.
the same goes for you.